This thing called FRIENDSHIP

“INSERT DEEP QUOTE ABOUT FRIENDSHIP”

Whatever that quote may be that you know about friendship, I’m sure we all know we wouldn’t be any good on our own without at least one person to call a friend. I’m learning a lot about relationships, and this is by no means an experienced post on friendship, just an expression of gratitude I have for these relationships, what I’ve learned about the magnitude of friendship and what I’ve read on it. Journey with me…:)

Where would I be without my friends?! Only Lord knows.

They are the people who sometimes know me better than I know myself. They keep me laughing, they have my back, go through the good times and the bad times with me, they grow with me, challenge me, they spoil me yet remember to gracefully correct me! I could go on, but just one phrase puts it all together for me- THANK GOD FOR FRIENDSHIP!

“They are the people who sometimes know me better than I know myself. They keep me laughing, they have my back, they go through the good times and the bad times with me, they grow with me, challenge me, they spoil me and yet remember to gracefully correct me! I could go on, but just one phrase puts it all together for me- THANK GOD FOR FRIENDSHIP!”

Dineo Sefoloko

Here’s one of my greatest, best friends… 🙂 She is literally the human form of the words I’ve stated above. Our relationship has flaws like any other, and we often get into each others’ shoes, but man, I’m grateful for a sister who carries my heart. Grateful for this friend.

I use the example of my sister and I becuase I think it took a long time for my sister and I, or at least myself, to realize that for our sister- sibling relationship to be at its optimum, we had to become very good, even the best of friends. Just a fun fact; we are 6 years apart and for a very long time, before I grew into my own personality and beliefs, she was always an “older sister” to whom respect was naturally due.

I think as I grew to have my own opinions and became more of an adult, we both learned that respect was mutual and was earned, even amongst us as blood sisters! To keep the relationship blooming , we had to become the best of FRIENDS! That really taught me that frienship is indeed the most basic yet the most esential relationship in any relationship for it to be as authentic, beneficial yet not burndonsome. Once the respect was mutual and not just expected, the consideraton for one another became easier, the love became easier, less expectant but more considerate. The ability to confide in one another and trust one another with everything became all the more easier.

I’m grateful to see a similar kind of love and friendship growing between the picture I’ve also put up of my two most gorgeous nieces. This thing is innate, young or old- we all need friends to thrive, to sustain us and help build us.

“This thing is innate. Young or old- we all need friends to thrive, to sustain us, to help build us.”

Dineo Sefoloko

But likewise, I’ve also learned then, that the friends we choose for ourselves, need to be people we can and do treat like family. I do believe true friendship is built over time with much intention and effort. But if we call someone a friend, we are to treat that person almost as family. Someone once said to me ” a friend is next to a brother”. In other words- this is someone who would literally lay their life down for you, as the Word says. Someone, who knows the song that plays in your mind and can sing it when you’ve forgotten the lyrics.

And this is why I say the word or title friendship is not one to be used so freely because its implications and responsibilities are far beyond the way we so often carelessly call someone FRIEND. I’m learning every day what this word really means and slowly how to become a better one as my friends and I grow together.

“The word or title friendship is not one to be used so freely because its implications and responsibilities are far beyond the way we often carelessly call someone FRIEND.”

Dineo Sefoloko

Dr Van Hoose defines friendships as relationships characterised and defined by UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Is this how you feel about ALL your friendships? Well I mean, we are human after all aren’t we? But I think that point that comes across here is the VALUE of friendship, and like any other love- requires our intentional efforts and interests.

I once read John C. Maxwell’s ‘Make today count” and he gives valuable points on how to be intentional on our friendships and how to help them grow. I think for me in any relationship what has proved to be a remnant quote to apply has to be Stephen R. Covey’s “Seek first to understand than to be understood.”

• People are insecure…give them confidence.
• People want to feel special…compliment them.
• People desire a better tomorrow…show them hope.
• People need to be understood…listen to them.
• People are selfish… speak to their needs first.
• People get emotionally low… encourage them.
• People want to be associated with success, help them win.

This is but a passage that just helps us better relate to people and learning to understand them. Here a few more practical tips on how be better:

• Place a high value on people
• Learn to understand people
• Give respect freely but expect to earn it from others
• Commit yourself to adding value to others
• *Put others first – GOLDEN RULE: DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU!
• Dont carry emotional baggage – FORGIVE QUICLY AND MOVE ON!
• Give time to your most valuable relationships- Remember BLOOD WILL ALWAYS BE THICKER THAN WATER.
• Serve others gladly
• Express love and appreciation often – THE BEST WAY TO HELP PEOPLE IS TO SEE THE BEST IN THEM. John C. Maxwell talks about the 101 principle- look for 1 thing that you admire in someone, and give them 100% encouragement for it!

So there you have it, relationship revelations on friendship. Here’s to greater, longer friendships!

Please comment with what friendship means for you and how we can foster becoming better friends to one another!

I love you 🙂

Dineo